I don't even know what this is, I guess it's a rant?

So I got drunk this past Tuesday and I found out that Alice liked me and I sorta blew my chance I guess. Oh well it's not like I'd know what to do even we were to date. I'm useless honestly. I'm not sure what to write honestly, I'm just a little pissed off with the world. Nothing to do, no one to talk to and I feel unwanted. I help people out when I can or at least I try to and I get sweet nothing back. I'm not saying I help out so I can get something back I'm just saying it'd be nice once in a while to get some appreciation and acknowledgement.

I'm a little pissed off that somehow even though I practice every day I seem to be getting worse at playing my guitar. My hand hurts when I do Spider chords now which for you people who have no idea what I mean when I say that just Youtube Dave Mustaine spider chords and you'll see what I mean, don't get the wrong idea I'm not new to doing spider chords, they used to hurt when I first started doing them but you get used to it. Simple riffs and chords hurt my fretting hand for some reason. Maybe I'm practicing too much? I don't think I am, it's not like I'm really hitting it hard I'm just doing my normal stuff. 

I just wanna fucking scream! Not in a girly slasher movie way, in a sorta the way Tom Araya shouts everything he sings, just take the song Disciple by Slayer. I'm just fed up with everything. Bleh on top of my struggles I somehow have, I have to think about my assignments I have due on Monday.

Oh and I was supposed to see my psychiatrist this coming Tuesday but she canceled that so fuck you, you stupid bitch just fuck you. I'm finding it hard getting to sleep at night, my feet get cold as my quilt is just a little bit too small? Or maybe I'm just too tall. I am at least 6 foot tall. I resorted to climbing into a sleeping bag and putting my quilt on top of that.

When is life going to get good for me? I have no idea what to write now so I guess that's it for now. Not sure what I'll do after posting this, maybe go to bed? I dunno.

I wish someone would read this, as I've said before just for advise.
Take care and D.F.T.B.A.