Saturday stuff.

Well it's Saturday and guess what I'm doing over this weekend. Yep as always it seems like I suddenly don't exist. However, I was asked if I wanted to go out with Louise and a bunch of her friends but the last time I did that I had to pay £6 to get into a shitty fireworks display with a crap band, feel out of place, freezing my balls off and get a muddy ass so no I didn't wanna go out with those people today. I guess that sorta was my chance to do something this weekend but still, the outcome would've been the same.

I'm bored, listening to music, right now it's Catcher in the rye by Guns N Roses. The thought of writing a book comes into mind sometimes, about 4 people who grow up together and change, have fights, makes friends and eventually they all lose everything and commit suicide in various ways. Like one would drive his car into something explosive, one would shoot himself in his bedroom and I'm not sure about the other two. Maybe one moves away and the other does something else I dunno. Oh! Maybe one gets shot by people because he gets too involved in drugs?

Honestly though, if I had a gun it life would be so much easier. I wish I was smarter but nope, I'm an idiot and if anyone reads this they'd agree.

I'm totally being used oh, and I really should be doing homework right now but I honestly can't be fucked. Like what's the point? I know all the stuff they talk about in class, more or less. I don't get why we get practically brainwashed from birth about how we have to succeed in school and grades are the most important thing in the world and you have to be socially accepted etc. I can understand our parents giving us the basics like stay away from drugs and pedophiles etc but any further than that is stupid unless we ask for help but then again if we're small and stupid of course we're going to ask for help. Oh a little off topic I.R.S by Guns N Roses is a fucking amazing song. I hate how assholes somehow become successful and people like me, real people get shat on. Now reading all my other posts I probably don't come across as such a good guy, but I really do fucking try.

We had a two minute silence at college on Friday for Remembrance day, not to sound mean but I doubt many people actually give a fuck. People don't care about what our older relatives did to stop evil. And even then it depends on what you mean by evil. To some people what Hitler wanted to do was good. Anyway I can understand Teachers and parents wanting to get the message of respect in our heads but half the people in this world are way to fucking stupid and bratty. I hate this place with a passion, and I'm just as bad as everyone else. Sure I can bitch about how bad this place but that's not part of the solution at all. I'd rather kill myself than live in this shithole of a world. No infact shithole is giving Earth way too much credit.

I can do my best to be nice, polite and try to fit in but if I don't somehow it's my fault? Maybe it is but it's not just my fault, give me a fucking chance? Nah even teachers are like that, the people we're supposed to look up at, the people teaching the next generation can be total pricks. They don't teach everyone in their class, they teach the majority and leave the stragglers to the vultures of depression and misery, hopelessness and hurt. Just take my Health and Social care teacher Corrine, She is fucking shit teacher. Oh I know I should respect the fact she's been teaching for so long and such but it's one rule for one person and another for a better person. For me at least she's not part of the solution she part of the problem. Then there's one of my English teachers of whom I don't the name of and I don't care to learn it. She used to be a body builder or some kinda athletic cow. Anyway her views on people are just so fucking insensitive and wrong, like HOW THE FUCK DID SHE BECOME A TEACHER?! She's about as sensitive as a brick.

This world depresses me to the point I write a shitty blog no one reads. I'm part of the problem and the way I see it I can be part of the solution if I grow some balls.

Looking back on what I've written I don't think anyone would see it the way I see it. They'd probably just think I'm a moody teenager throwing a fit and maybe that's true I dunno but right now this is how I feel.

I'd love to get a bass guitar and huge ass amp and something to make it sound evil and a little fuzzy, I guess that would be a distortion pedal? I dunno but anyway I'd just sit there hitting long drone-y notes.

Okay well I'm bored of writing, if anyone actually reads this please comment or something I'd love to hear from you, even if you're just here to bitch at me.

Well take care and D.F.T.B.A.